Feeling a bit deflated today.
My hand is hurting – not the fracture, but the cast – rubbing across joints and knuckles, I just can’t get comfortable with it. I think it needs recasting but I just can’t face the travel in the fog to sit for hours in A&E.
The enforced inactivity is still irritating me. And I appear to have sought solace in food – and now I feel bloated and weighty. Darn it!!
This time last year was a very different story, because this time last year I had started a running programme – it was the very first time I had ever set any sort of physical challenge, and I don’t think I could quite believe I had been so perverse as to choose something that I genuinely had always hated. This time last year I realised 2 things. 1) I couldn’t run for toffee, it wasn’t for no good reason I hated it and 2) I’d need some proper running shoes.
This time last year these two things were completely preoccupying my mind.
I wasn’t just poor at running – no, I was monumentally shit at it. I couldn’t run for any more than 30 in every ninety seconds. The 2km route I had set myself, out to a water tower near to where I lived and back, and whilst it appeared flat it was actually marginally uphill on the homeward kilometre. This caused me untold agonies with cramp in my calves and shins during the early weeks. I felt my knees would buckle at the effort of trying to hold my weight – and I was so unfit I would be gasping before I had completed the first 100m.
Hence issue number 2. Running shoes are expensive and I was caught between knowing I wouldn’t get very far without them, and the conundrum of whether I was honestly committed to doing this to warrant such a purchase?
A year ago today I had no idea that in taking up running, I would have found the one thing that would help curb my middle aged weight gain, reestablish my self esteem and give me a real challenge that would grip me with real enthusiasm for the entire year.
Since the car accident, obviously I haven’t been able to do any running – and prior to that I had missed a number of weeks due to a virus I couldn’t shake – so my running year has limped to it’s anniversary like a wet weekend in Morcombe.
Prior to that however, I was actually able to complete 5k, none stop – I’m so immensely proud of myself it’s silly – but I am. I’m a bit bothered that by the time my hand is fixed, its going to be a painful road back to running fitness, but its one I know I will grind out because I’ve been bitten by the bug.
But it’s not all doom and gloom.
Because if I can learn to run 5k – honestly, I can push myself to move mountains.
Which brings me to this year.
I’m looking for a more holistic approach for this years challenge, mind and body.
I have always liked yoga -I like how it makes me feel once the initial stiffness wears off, but I just never seem to stick at it, and I’m not even sure why.
Starting tomorrow I begin my 30 day personal yoga challenge. The idea is to do it every day in January in the hope I can establish a routine – I have found some ‘look no hands’ videos on YouTube as my starting point – so the cast doesn’t stop me making a start.
If I stick at it, my reward will be to subscribe to an online yoga class called Yogaglo – because ideally i’d like the yoga to be to 2017 what my running was to 2016.