Back on the road – to fitness

Exercise wise, 2017 has been a disaster.

By this time last year I was already in a very healthy groove of checking my eating habits, I was a budding gym bunny and running was becoming something that I was becoming a bit evangelical about. I had 2 running routes and was really enjoying getting outside and embracing the elements.

Since before Christmas, the broken arm put paid to any activity, and then there was the crippling flu and I’ve just retrieved some mobility having  put my back out moving furniture! 3 months of enforced inactivity, crappy eating habits and just wallowing around – has had a not so positive effect on my weight, my mindset and my overall diet – I have had about 3 aborted attempts to get my Adidas supernova’s back on the road, and each time it was completely scuppered.

Today I did 1km – 1 km?????

It is better than my previous big fat zero km but it sucks to feel this out of shape so soon.

We have moved office (hence the putting my back out moving cabinets!!) – but now my back feels happily better, that means finding new running routes – and although today’s effort was a bit pathetic, it was nice to try out a new route and realise that there are a lot more opportunities for mixing it up a bit than where I was based previously – new views, new challenges. So it isn’t all doom and gloom.

I don’t know why, but setting  a new running route always causes me some stress – I get angsty until I am familiar with it – even if its an easy one; I don’t know how to pace myself, where the dips and peaks are and letting my body get used to anticipating each challenge along the way. I don’t like that about me, but there is no ducking it – I do it all the time.

So it is going to be a bit of an uphill struggle for me today even on the flat! Getting back in to my stride and liking where I run – but today was a start – I feel well and strong (ish) eventually and that is worth it’s weight in gold.

The gym membership went by the wayside long ago last year, I found it so boring – but I had promised myself at the new year, with all my new resolutions that this would be the year of yoga. That too, like the running has been on a permanent pit stop – but tomorrow that changes too!

And the eating?

I am not liking the enlarged and squishy middle of me at the minute, I feel inflated and it looks as bad as it feels – I think being good is very much the order of my life for some considerable weeks to come.

But it will be worth it.

Bring on the sunshine – I want to get those shorts out again!


Ageing – the secret no one talks about

There is a lot of information circling around about the effects of ageing – it isn’t a mystery. – the key is in accepting it with grace. Realising the truth in what  one elderly neighbour once said to me, that ‘getting old wasn’t for wimps.’ This  from an indomitable woman who was undergoing hip replacement, had already had knee replacement and was battling the effects of Parkinson’s disease – no, this woman was no wimp.

But I have come to realise that ageing isn’t just about bionic joints, tena lady products and false teeth – there is a psychological and emotional element to it, that no one seems to talk about nor as with myself (or my friends) appear to be prepared for.

Recently I have been having an ongoing conversation with a dear friend – she has been struggling to raise a new online business and despite the fact she had appointed herself a business coach to help motivate and organise her – she was struggling. But not in all the usual business orientated ways – and this wasn’t something her coach had addressed with previous clients, in fact she was hard pressed to understand the issues my friend was battling. I however, felt deeply connected with my friends’ woes – I understood her issues first hand.

My friend is complaining about finding it hard to feel motivated because she feels at 55 she has far more yesterdays behind her than she has tomorrows  to play with and whilst that might seem obvious numeric logic – the key is, it is that actual moment when your ever shortening future really becomes a reality to you, it’s like having  a blinding wake up call.

Suddenly you wistfully look back over all those opportunities that slipped away, those wasted projects and the disgraceful wasted time you have squandered because it seemed that there was  ‘always tomorrow’,

The fact is, that whilst women’s magazines can claim that 50 is the new 30 – once you get passed the big 5-0, you start to creep toward the bigger 6-0 and the door is wide open for reflection on what has been; regrets start to filter in and panic bubbles up that there is little room to manouvre in this shortened future line.

It isn’t that this becomes an enormous preoccupation, but it quietly nibbles at the edges of your consciousness – and it becomes something to dwell on. should have done that differently or I ought not to have done that or why did I waste time.

What has struck me and my good friend is that whilst we are well aware of the mid life crisis – we weren’t expecting this emotional crisis that seems to have started as a gentle swell of uncertainty and become a tsunami of regrets and anxiety.

I personally have come to the conclusion that reviewing my past and regretting decisions is pretty pointless and have suggested my pal take the same view- a bit like a history book, the story can’t be rewritten.

In terms of my future, well yes I can’t deny the clock is ticking fast, and having grandiose plans and schemes like I did when I was 20, may well be a dream to far – I don’t like it, I would dearly love to wind my clock back, give myself a few extra precious years to play with – but that is silly. Better still is coming to terms with my life, making the most of my time now, enjoying the here and now.

A bit new agey perhaps, but there is no point in panicking life is suddenly too short, no point in over planning a future I can’t possibly deliver on – the key, is having joy in my here and now and live it to the max.



Goal Setting 2017

I’m glad 2016 is gone; pretty much I’m no fan of the big New Year hoo ha – an arbitrary date line drawn in the sand and we all have resolutions to be a better person . But in fairness I can’t deny it does  give  an opportunity to draw that line and say ‘enough already’; and did me and my husband ever need the opportunity? – On a material, business level this was our annus horribilis to top a run of 3 annuses!!

It’s not finished yet – we have some way to go, but we both feel (without going in to any of the boring and v lengthy detail) that the first half of this year will see it end. For good or bad, and both expect it to be tumultuous.

Both of us agree that strategies to handling stress only work permantly if you are the cause of it; if the stress is from external agencies   – then the best thing you can do is have mechanisms in place to deflect it, like a fragile force field created by a novice wizard.

Up to recently I didn’t have any force field in place whatsoever and consequently feel completely battered, the car accident just before Christmas just seemed to be another  blow in a series of body blows that I seemed to have taken; and so it wasn’t just whim that had me contemplating the changes I wanted to make to my 2017 – the little things I wanted to establish in my life, that would become my personal guide stones through the belt of rocks that life may feel like pelting my way.

Honestly, my goals are small but they are for me – like little daisies in a thorny overgrown scrub patch.

  1. I’ve already mentioned my first – yoga and meditation practice daily. Through out January in the first instance, but I hope this becomes routine.
  2. As soon as my arm is out of it’s cast – fingers crossed (no pun intended) running will recommence – the sole thing that made 2016 bearable was that I found fitness and loved it.
  3. Bees – I have scrubbed out my old hive (unused for 8 years – unforgiveable) and I intend to replace broken/missing pieces; find a place for it to be set up and then find some bees. More on this later.
  4. Grow my little Etsy shop. I set up the shop late on last year and it needs stocking. I love crafting, and this more than anything salves my soul – creating. So I decided to combine my love of doing with a need to fund the plethora of activities I like doing (including the bee keeping which can be costly)
  5. Nourish my soul – this is a w-i-p and there will be much more detail on this point in the weeks to come. But the core reason behind this is I know my life has become barren and soulless – too much energy is taken up with the material world – to my personal detriment.
  6.  Nurture the place we live – make our home and garden loved.

I think ideally I want my home to be a sanctuary from an unkind world – a place we can escape to, instead of it just being as extension of business – an arrid place where we just exist. Because that is how I have been thinking of it.

These are my goals

This is where my blog here will be taking me – charting the progress, the change – and hopefully in so doing, start to restore my soul.

Happy New Year xx